More spring. These Magnolia blossoms got a little damaged by our on-off-on spring temperatures, but opened up beautifully yesterday.

There is a type of train that is powered by alternating magnetic poles. Opposites repel and push the train a bit, then the polarity is reversed and the train is pulled forward a bit more. Then the polarity is reversed again. These trains can go at very high speeds. Maglev trains

I feel like I am living this process in really slow motion. When I came to live with mom, I was coming to help her out, but mostly I was leaving. I was leaving a career that had become exhausting and leaving a city that felt constricting. That is the repelling part of the polarity. Spending fun time with mom, getting rested, finding my new people are the attracting parts of the polarity.

I am coming to think of this as my sabbatical year. While I am making myself useful around the house, (cleaning out the basement and garage, yardwork on the 3/4 acre lot, accompanying mom when she takes long walks) I am deliberately slowing my pace. I rest when I’m tired. I’m eating more fresh vegetables and fruits, drinking less coffee and wine. I’m doing yoga daily.

I’m trusting in the process of listening to my body and emotions to find what I need to create a joyful life.

Love, rest, meaningful work. Healthy food and a bit of sunshine. These are the things that pull me forward.


4 thoughts on “Push/Pull

  1. Lou says:

    So you took advantage of a well-earned opportunity to do self-care – smart, as usual, Fawn. That finally, after a lifetime spent caring for others, you are attending to your own self. It’s a very hard learning process: to give yourself the same attention, care and comfort you have habitually spent outward; to notice weariness and actually rest; to smell the roses; not to push yourself in defiance of cost or consequences.

    Habits that seemed to serve you well in the busyness of career and child-rearing have formed neural tracks that need re-structuring for a different life stage. Rewarding, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Priscilla Bettis says:

    The push-pull magnetic train is an apt metaphor. I love reading your insights.

    By the way, the flowering trees in our neck of the woods have suffered, too, because of the bizarre weather. (Central Virginia.) I think the poor crab apples on the neighbor’s property gave up and went straight to leaves. Our maples were confused, too. Maybe next spring will be easier on the trees.


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